I’ll put my hands up I don’t know if I love or hate Gone Girl, what I do know is that it’s slightly in my opinion, over rated. However something that’s stuck with me since reading it is Amy Dunne’s ‘Cool Girl’ speech

“Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl.”

It struck me and stuck with me because of how true it felt, Amy Dunne is not a likeable character and I’d be loathe to take life advice from her but still all of the above and then some.

As a female I have to be okay if someone I’m with loves watching porn, or going to strip joints, who flirts online, – with no regard how it does make a lot of girls feel like shit. – O if they are  obsessed with computer games or football. I was once told I had to be okay with my bf having naked girl magazines in the bathroom but I couldn’t go on a girls holiday to Zante as it made me a slut….

I’ve recently started dating after two consecutive long term relationships and the “advice” people have for you is ‘Keep them at arms length’ ‘Don’t text back for XX amount of time’ ‘Make them think you’re dating loads of people, even if you’re not” etc… My embarrassing stories that accumulated in the first few weeks of dating one guy involved him seeing me at multiple times accidentally without make up, for accidentally tripping over, for typoing I love you instead of I love THAT’ all things that stopped me from being a) attractive or b) cool.

My friends felt for me, they cringed with me, I over thought the situations, but had the tables been reversed, had I seen him not looking his best, had he tripped over or said that it’d be all things that I’d probably find cute or endearing, because I don’t know many girls that like a ‘cool guy’. They like the funny one, or the smart one or the one who likes the same music, I never hear them say it’s because he’s ‘cool’

And it’s no reflection on the guy (he’s great) it’s a reflection on how I felt there was a time limit before I could be seen without make up, a time limit that stopped me from saying things that they might find weird or odd. Things that really weren’t actually me. Things that stopped me being cool.

And I imagine for guys they have the same problems maybe they aren’t seen as lad enough or sporty enough or another bunch of cliches only attached to straight couples.

I’m rambling now, but the point remains is, I still agree with Amy Dunne, and I feel things would be a little easier all around if none of us had to pretend at all.

 

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